Drive safely

 

Brandon Handershank saw the flashing blue light in his rear-view mirror, and pulled to the shoulder of the road. He kept both hands on his steering wheel and watched the highway patrolman approach; he had something in his hand.

“Good afternoon sir, can you roll down your window please?”

Brandon complied, and lowered his window. “Yes officer? Was I doing something wrong?”

“My name is Trooper Haynes, sir. The reason I stopped you is that a bank robbery was reported in Stopgap. The vehicle used by the robbers matches the description to this car.”

“I’m not a bank robber officer, I can assure you.”

“Yes. May I see your driver’s license, and proof of insurance please sir?””
“Certainly.”

Handershank reached around for his wallet, and patted his behind. “Oh no.”

“Something wrong, sir?”

“I left my wallet in my jeans; at my friend’s house.”

“Yes sir. Give me your full name, and where you’re from. I’ll simply call it in to verify you have a valid driver’s license.”

“Of course. My name is Brandon Handershank.”

The officer pulled out a small pad and spoke aloud as he wrote.” Brandon, Hand, shake.”

“No, that’s not right.”

“You’re not Brandon?”

“Yes, I’m Brandon, but I’m not Handshake.”

“you’re using an alias sir?”

“No. My last name is H-a-n-d-e-r-s-h-a-n-k.”

“Got it. Thank you. And where are you from Mr. Handshake?”

“Passgatooie, Saskatchewan.”

“Huh? That’s in Oklahoma?”

“Passgatooie or Saskatchwan?”

“It’s not a good idea to kid around sir. I asked you an honest question.”

“I’ve given you an honest answer, officer. Is what where?”

“Easy, my friend. Where is Passgatooie?”

“It’s in Saskatchewan.”

The officer’s cheeks darkened, “And where is Saskatchewan?”

“It’s a western province of Canada.”

“And Passgatooie?”

“That’s where I live. It’s about 45 miles south of Nunavut.”

“None of what?”

“Nunavut. That’s about 45 miles north of Passgatooie.”

The police officer stomped his right foot, and resisted an urge to void his bladder. “I tell you what, give me your friends telephone number, and I’ll make a call. Perhaps someone can verify the information on your driver’s license.”

“I’d be happy to officer. Unfortunately, her phone number is in my wallet, and my wallet is in my jeans pocket. MY jeans are in a bedroom in my friend’s house, along with my cell phone.”


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